December is the best time for families to come together. It’s a great opportunity for children to learn more about their roots and bond with their grandparents. However, the reality is that, whether you like it or not, they are your parents, and most of us have some issues with them. It’s entirely normal to get easily agitated around your or your spouse’s parents. Nevertheless, we believe it’s possible to spend quality time together without feeling upset or frustrated. But how? Take a deep breath and follow the white rabbit.
Have a Different Perspective on Criticism
Believe it or not, criticism can be a form of connection. Your parents may believe they’re helping you see what’s right and wrong. Especially when it comes to your kids, they might see themselves as the real experts, considering you just as a junior who thinks they know what’s best. In such cases, consider changing your perspective. They criticize your kids because they see them as their own, and keep in mind that some of their suggestions might actually work well. Try to take advantage of it.
However, if all communication is based solely on their suggestions, it’s time to move on to the next step.
Setting Boundaries
When criticism turns into verbal violence, it’s time to set boundaries. Take a walk with your nuclear family or by yourself. Find ways to relax and regulate your emotions. Talk to them openly and let them understand that you’re offended.
If nothing changes, feel free to alter your plans, perhaps opting for daily trips or exploring alternative Christmas holiday options.
Balancing Different Traditions
While your family has traditions formed over the years, you and your family also have your own rituals. While respecting their rules, traditions and routines, you can maintain yours. Take in to account that if you are the visitor, you should be more flexible.
You can stick to your routines in your own room as a family. Routines are crucial for children, so if you have a “surprise hour” every day at 8 o’clock, try to keep it. This helps kids feel safe and at “home.”
Let Them Be a Part of It
Find ideas that everyone can enjoy together. For instance, here are our Christmas game suggestions . Create a space where your family can get to know each other better and have fun.
Playing more than having conversations can help avoid conflicts. Group plays give people a sense of belonging. However, try to create group combinations so that your family has a chance to know each other better.
🎄🎄🎄
Historically, humans have formed families to fulfill the inherent need for connection, safety, and a sense of belonging to a community. All we need to learn is to manage different dynamics in different families, which is only possible with open communication, self-regulation, and balance.
We believe in you. You got this! Have fun. ❤️